Thursday, September 25, 2014

Our principles vs. our reactions - Part One of my "It can happen to you" series.

This article is the first in a series that I want to address a number of issues that concern me. There are a number of issues that might, at first, seem unrelated, but as you will see - in the end they all come together to form a real risk.

While many people will shy away once an article starts talking about your rights, or your freedoms, I beg of you not to shy away from reading what I have to say. I'm not going to propose some wild conspiracy theroy. I'm not going to try to say that the government is trying to control us. I'm not going to say (in most cases) that there is evil afoot. I am not proposing that the end is near and that the things I am pointing out are a sign of the times.

I simply want to point out things that have and are happening that puts you at risk.

The problem is not one thing, but many things (or a confluence if you will) that have and are happening that are resulting in more people, innocent people in many cases I believe, into prisons. This is a problem that can impact anyone - even you.
The problems I'll discuss are ones that have arisen as a result of human nature and attempts to respond to real and important problems - but in having done so the responses have caused a number of unintended consequences to happen resulting in things that not right.

Finally, these problems are also ones with deep emotional ties. As such, people have a hard time addressing them without emotion. Because of the emotional nature of these issues, there have been knee jerk responses at all levels of the government, and even with various groups of people and individuals.

So, what this post is about are real problems, that are happening now. They are impacting people now, and I'll bet they have impacted some people you know already. If they have not - then they will.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Calling Joe Truth....

Oh my, one day almost down.

We know who you are Joe.
Do you want us to unmask you and your folk for the cowards you are?
Glad to do so...
It was so easy... Harassment is a crime Joe....
Sheep... do you know the sound sheep make...? Baaaacccccaaaaa....


Cowards... One of my favorite quotes is this one:

“First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out—
because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—
because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—
because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me—
and there was no one left to speak out for me.”
Martin Niemöller

Another quote I love is this one: 
“A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.”
Mahatma Gandhi

We use the word coward and cringe. Yet, at one time or another, we are all guilty of cowardliness. That is human. There are cowardly acts, and cowards and the two are not synonymous. The question is not did we commit a cowardly act, , but what did we do with it. How did we take that moment and become better because of it? That is the mark of a coward and what distinguishes that person from every other human being. The cowardly act and how you deal with your moment of cowardliness in it's light.

You see, I have had my own moments of cowardly acts. I see no pride in those acts and I do not seek to justify them once I see them for what they truly are. I try to look back and I see my cowardliness and I own it, I accept it and I admit it humbly and hope to learn from it. I hope to be stronger as a result of that which I recognize was a me being less than I could have been. I'm not perfect at it, sometimes it's hard to see ourselves in a dispassionate manner - but I try.

It is those we love that suffer from our cowardly acts and if in those acts we truly become cowards. It is the coward who professes to love someone, and yet, willingly allows that someone to be usurped through their cowardly acts which go uncorrected. 

As with Hiroshima, those who were consumed with the fire are not those that suffered the most. It is those who were exposed to the radiation and it's untold effects, that will suffer. I'm am not calling them cowards, of course, I am simply comparing what happened to them to what happens to the coward. It is the long term destruction wrought by cowardliness that we do not see nor can we expect because, just like the radiation, the cause is invisible and the impacts unknown.

For all of us, in our cowardly moments, there will be a day of reckoning. The reckoning is not the just judgement of whatever God you might or might not believe in, but it is the after effect of our decisions years down the road. The reckoning does not come in threats or duress, but through natural consequences of the action itself. Our actions or lack of actions, for what ever reason the cowardliness comes, will come back to haunt us.

Because, in our cowardliness, we choose to ignore the truth that we know (or that we might learn if we but looked for it), and we fail to act as we should have acted in the beginning. Over time, this just builds on itself until, we have no idea what the truth is. Since we don't know the truth, we don't know the implications of that truth - until years down the line the implications are made manifest.

And God help us if our cowardliness is unchecked when we have children. If we choose to live in our cowardliness what is the long term impact to our children? If we allow children to perform cowardly acts without consequence or correction, who is truly responsible for such a thing? We are. In this, again, beyond whatever God you might have to deal with someday, your children will bring your cowardliness full circle and you will reap what you sow.

And when the impacts of our unchecked cowardliness is made manifest - it can be so bloody. We wonder what happened and don't realize that we have lost ourselves in the fog created by our cowardliness so long ago. The coward inside has crafted a story and we have chosen to believe it and internalize it. Even when the result of your cowardliness is  made manifest - it's likely that the coward will never realize the real root cause of that manifestation because the root cause is forgotten - in another act of cowardliness.

The coward is the one that hides in the darkness, cloaked in anonymity - hurling threats, accusations and false information to hurt another. You see, a coward is a rat, and rats scurry from the light because it shows them for who they are.

I challenge everyone to stand up and take stock of yourself. Are your actions those of a one with principle or one with a streak of cowardliness. Do you stand up for what is right, do you seek the truth, or do you just wait and hope that the answers will magically manifest themselves for you? Do you shrink from the hard truths and give in to the easy lies - that make it easier to live your life? Do you face your demons or do you shrink from them? Do you tell the truth, no matter the cost - or do you take the easy road to lies and forging of false memories? Do you choose to make your own decisions, or do you just surf with the crowd and hope not to be noticed or held accountable?

I am not perfect and I suspect that I will still have moments of cowardliness... I hope that I can look back on those moments, learn from them, and move forward as a better man understanding the mistakes I have made.

I hope you will do the same. So that when the day of accounting comes - and it will - that you will look yourself in the face and be able to say, "I was once a coward - and this is the cause. I am a coward no more - and that is the result." It's an iterative process, but it's a noble one.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014


Don't you just love cowards? People that sign onto your blog and use some fictional name and write all sorts of stupid things about you? Seems there is this person called Joe Truth.... ever heard of him? Well, he's a total coward. He hides behind anonymity (that means in secret Joe - just in case you have a problem with big words) like any coward.

Joe, how about you come clean about who you are there. It's just a matter of time before I reverse engineer your IP address and find out who you really are. Did I mention I have a list of everyone that has pinged this web site in the last several weeks Joe? No? Does that shock you Joe?

Harassment is a crime Joe... I'd suggest you contact me quickly before I decide to call the authorities. You have two days Joe... or I will pursue charges of harassment against you. Hope to hear from you coward. You may freely reply to this post via a comment or you may email me at Either way, I doubt I will hear from you.... you see rats always run when they find out that light is about to be exposed on them. You have 48 hours to contact me Joe. It's 10:30pm my time on 9/23/2014. Good luck Joe.

Ahhh.... the joy of witchhunts....

Witchunts have been around for a long time now. This link provides a history of which craft persecution over the years. It seems that the which hunt starts when someone in authority starts an "inquisition" of sorts. In the mid-1400's people were fleeing the inquisition... those that were caught were tortured and forced into confessions of all sorts of acts.

It's funny what beating down a man, woman or child constantly, will do to that person. It's amazing the things they will say when attacked by authority. In the mid-1400's, in the midst of their constant torture or even under constant questioning and pressure - those accused would finally admit to almost anything just to stop the inquisition. From the previous link, here is a description of some of the things the defendants admitted too:

Defendants admitted to flying on poles and animals to attend assemblies presided over by Satan appearing in the form of a goat or other animal.  Some defendants told investigators that they repeatedly kissed Satan's anus as a display of their loyalty.  Others admitted to casting spells on neighbors, having sex with animals, or causing storms.

As time went on, the "Church" decided that it had a responsibility to hunt down and kill these whiches.... Many of whom were women.. Malleus maleficarum sibility  or "Hammer of the witches" told terrifying stories of witches having sex with any old daemon, killing children and stealing a mans penis.

In the 1500's the kill rate of witches started to go up even higher.Switzerland killed over 500 in one year alone, 1000 were killed in Italy.

Then it really went crazy when one witchcraft defendant told the court that he had 100,000 fellow witches running around the country. The result - Judges quickly eliminated many of the protections that were afforded to other accused. Over about 160 years some 50,000 to 80,000 suspected witches were killed in Europe. 80% of those were women.

In 1692 we had the infamous witch trials of Salem, which you can read about here. I've been to Salem and I've seen the court where they hung the 19 men and women convicted of witchcraft. In the hysteria of the moment they also crushed a man to death for refusing to admit to being a witch. Even children were accused, and in one case a child was forced to watch her mother be taken to the gallows and hung in front of her.  This little girls name was Dorcas Good. Why was Dorcas accused of witchcraft? Because three other girls her age (4 years old) said the specter (or Ghost) of Dorcas bit them.

Now - why would a 4 year old lie about such a thing - much less 3 of them. I mean, why would three four year old little kids lie like that - are they not pure and innocent and incapable of lying at that age? Especially about important things, how could three four year olds make up such a story? In the trials people would present their "bad luck" as evidence that someone was a witch.

Of course, when you are stuck in jail - the gallows awaiting you - you might well be willing to tell a story or two of witchcraft if you think it might get you out of trouble. People became desperate. They didn't want to be thought of as a witch, they didn't want to be accused as one, they were scared because they believed witches were everywhere and they had people in "the know" who would continue to preach the reality of witches, daemons and the risk they pose to the community.

The admission of things like "spectral evidence" (for example, being visited by someone's ghost) was accepted as real evidence in these courts - we might laugh about that now, but it's a reality that defendants had to deal with. The accused often were not even afforded legal council, lest they put a spell on them - or they would be walked in the court room backwards for the same reason. All of this stuff we might laugh at and think that it can't happen today - but in fact, this kind of human behavior happens all the time. Even now - we are subject to the mentality of the witchhunt.

So, eventually the witch hunting disappeared from Salem - only after the death of a number of people both from the gallows, being crushed to death or dying in prison. We don't hear much about witches these days - we don't get gathered into a storm about somebody pointing his finger and causing a blister to appear on our body. We don't claim to see peoples ghosts or that we saw them out in the forest looking for frogs for their potions. If we did, we would not care because we have advanced enough that even for those who do believe in witches - in the way they did back in the past, the rest of us know better. We know that witch hunts are silly exercises and we know they make people do, say and believe silly and impossible things.

Or do we? I believe that witch hunts are still here - alive and well - or at least the spirit of them is. The hunt is in a different form, but the psychology is the same. The blindness of those who's focus is on the Witch is so single minded that they are willing to suspend all belief, no mater how impossible the accusations are once the evidence is presented, and believe that before them stands a witch.

More on that little problem later.


Thursday, July 24, 2014

Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Quote I love...

From "Waiting for Forever (2010)"...

"Truth is nothing. What you believe to be true is everything."

"If you ask me, there's a moment in everybody's life when you're hopeless, just helpless with hope and trust. And then something happens, something too big to understand, and then everything changes forever. If you ask me, you start out with goodness so pure and clear you won't even know it's there, because that's the way it is when you don't know anything. And then the news begins to arrive."

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Swimming is for idiots...

"Swimming is for idiots..."

Quote from Mr. Nobody....

Sunday, March 30, 2014

A good man goes to war...

For those who understand... and those that don't.... I am a good man - forced to go to war.

While I am not the doctor, and while armies may not change that the mention of my name... this video is so true in so many way.... all in fear of me....

Demons run
when a good man goes to war.
Night will fall and drown the sun
when a good man goes to war.
Friendship dies and true love lies,
Night will fall and the dark will rise,
when a good man goes to war.
Deamons run will count the cost,
The battle is won.
But the child is lost.

Enter Demons run....

Monday, March 24, 2014

When you love someone....

Someone I once cared about (and still do, I never really stop caring about those people who I have loved - when you read my definition of love you will see why) wrote something about love and how much of a waste it is.

This got me to thinking about love and what it is, and what it is not. So I penned the following...

When you love someone, you never turn your back on them - no mater what.
When you love someone, you choose to see the positive rather than the negative.
When you love someone, you act - not react.
When you love someone, you trust them regardless of what anyone else says.
When you love someone, you only care about the truth, not the supposition.
When you love someone, you are not easily fooled by the musings of others.
When you love someone, you are not lead away like a helpless sheep.
When you love someone, you don't set fires.
When you love someone, you don't run at the first signs of fire. Instead you help to pull them out of the fire.
When you love someone, you give of yourself totally.
When you love someone, you leave your vanity behind.
When you love someone, they fill up your heart.
When you love someone, they don't break your heart.
When you love someone, forgiveness is a given even if they break your heart.
When you love someone, implicit forgiveness is not taken advantage of.
When you love someone, you don't break their heart.
When you love someone, you forgive them when they do break your heart.
When you love someone, you let the little things go.
When you love someone, you don't let lies divert you from the truth.
When you love someone, you always seek the truth until it's been found.
When you love someone, you open your heart, knowing that it can be crushed.
When you love someone, you never crush their heart.
When you love someone, you ask for forgiveness when you crush their heart.
When you love someone, you give forgiveness when they crushed your heart.
When you love someone, you are bold. Love is not for the weak.
When you love someone, you stand by them even if they are crushed.
When you love someone, you take energy from them.
When you love someone, you give them your energy.
When you love someone, you find a way.
When you love someone, you do not flutter that love away, like it was bought at a five and dime store.
When you love someone, you treat it like it was the highest of honors.
When you love someone, regardless of if you sit in the darkness or the light, they can always be your light.
When you love someone, your anger is controlled.

I once loved someone. I once loved her in all of these ways. Yet, she didn't realize what she really had. When someone lied about me, she turned her back on me and the love I offered her. Rather than investigate the truth, she assumed the lie was true. She allowed others to convince her that the lie was true. She never made an effort to try to discover the truth, I think because she knew she was too weak to stand up to the others should she refuse to compromise in light of the truth. It's so much easier to believe a lie when that lie makes your reality easier to deal with. Almost always, in the lie, is the easiest path to follow. The ease is borne out of fear as the path to truth can be painful and require more of us than than the path to the lie.

And yet, in the lie, there is damage unseen and untold until, perhaps, it's too late. For there is another that she loved, you see, who was even more damaged by this lie. The sad thing is, that person, well, that person deserves the best of her and that person isn't getting it. Yet, if she read this (and she might) - she would wrap herself up in anger rather than step back and ask if what I'm saying might be true.

You see, I know things. I know things that were done and things that were not done. I see the path this other person is going down, because of her actions. I see the future, and while there is still hope for this other person, I fear that the hope dwindles every day that the lie is allowed to live. Hopes for his future dwindle every day he's allowed to live in the lie and not face the truth. Yet, she lacks the ability to face the truth. She lacks courage. She lacks Wisdom. She is caught up in her own story, and the story of the other is muddled. She is a figure that could have been great, but now is so pitiful.

Awash in her own misery and her own story, she does not realize that what she gave up in her failings was someone that would have stood by her side as she now faces a very great challenge that will stand with her forever. Her challenge is life changing, and I would have stood by her in this change and loved her forever. Even now, I hurt for what she is going through and what she will go through in the future. Even though you turned your back on me, I still care about you. How ironic. It is who I am though... Someone who I think highly of once told me I was the most forgiving person ever. Maybe that's true. For I forgive you, always and forever.

I could say so much about her, and this is my outlet. The funny thing is that love is forgiving. I shall always forgive you ... even in your ignorance and in spite of the pain you have caused me and are causing me. I shall also be thankful, for when you turned away from me, I found another.

It's a shame that you could not be more like River Song... But then, if you were, I'd never have met my Carrie. Still.... the sentiment on forgiveness is very true... I shall always and forever forgive you.

It's really so sad.

In the loss of her love, a truly great thing happened. A seed was planted and out of that seed a greater love was given to me. That love has been forged in fire and tears but it is all the stronger for it. My dearest love, carrie, is strong and amazing and she owns my heart now. Our child, Amelia, is The most amazing child there ever was. She even has her own blog at My other five children are amazing...

carrie is greater than the one who turned away from me in ignorance and anger. She has taken a heart that was crushed into more pieces than I thought possible and healed it. While I still love the other, and she has a place on the love shelf in my heart, it is my carrie that fills my heart now and makes my days worth living. It is carrie that I have total trust in and for who every statement you see above, of what love is, applies.

This video made me think of what carrie and I are.... and what this other person and I could have been if she'd only tried.... Oh my dear, you lost so much. Here is another video that makes me think of you dear carrie...

The other.... she loves music. Maybe this one will help you understand.

No mater what happens... my life has already been fuller than yours will ever be. That, my dear, is your own fault.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Without reflection - we go blindly on our way...

Without reflection we go blindly on our way,
creating more unintended consequences,
and failing to achieve anything useful.
- Margaret J. Wheatley

I know someone that chooses not to reflect on anything before her. She chooses to avoid anything that might shatter her world view, even if in the end the resulting truth and understanding would be so much better for her and those around her.

The unintended consequences of this have been horrific, and yet she can't realize that it's her action, and inaction, that have caused the consequences that have touched many lives around her. Bury your head and it will go away, instead of look around and face the truth.

Her failure to truly focus on the truth that lies before her (pun intended), and to accept that the fault, the lies and the untold damage that has been caused are in great part her fault. This is because of her choice to blindly follow a path that was set before her by others.

What is so odd about this is that this person is one of the smartest people I know. I find it hard to believe she is incapable of critical thinking.

Friday, March 07, 2014

Yoda on fear...

4. “Fear is the path to the dark side…fear leads to anger…anger leads to hate…hate leads to suffering.” The Phantom Menace
It's funny to me how a person will love something and yet fail to apply the truths of what they love in their life. Anger was never the revealer of truth. Nor was blind trust - in anyone.

On being mistaken...

This exchange in Star Wars VI appeared in my mind today...

The Emperor:  “I’m looking forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master.”
Luke:   ”You’re gravely mistaken. You won’t convert me as you did my father.”
The Emperor:  “Oh no, my young Jedi. You will find that it is you who are mistaken, about a great many things.”

It's funny how we can be just so sure of something to the point that it blinds us to the truth, as in the case of the Emperor here. He was just sure, because of his great and fabulous knowledge of the dark side of the force,  that he would be able to turn Luke. He figured his right hand Man, Vader, even though he was Luke's father, would never betray him - even in the light of the fact that we know that the Emperor saw that Luke and Vader would someday overcome him together he was cocky, confident and over sure about himself.

What the emperor lacked was humility and a willingness to admit that he just might be wrong. He was so sure of himself that he lacked to ability to accept that, just maybe, he might have made a mistake. He didn't understand Vader's feelings for his son, for they were so clouded by the dark side that they were hidden from the Emperor.

Just maybe we sometimes have the same problem. Maybe we misplace our trust in people that we think are trustworthy (as the Emperor did in Vader) and maybe, just maybe, the people who we think are our enemy are really our friends (as Luke and Vader became). Sometimes we have to be willing to step outside our comfort zone (as Vader did) to see what the truth really is. Sometimes we have to love so strongly (as Luke did) to maintain the relationship until the other finally makes that step and learns the truth. While Luke might well have died in his attempt to save his father, in the end he was successful because he was just and right and he followed the light.

Sometimes, when we decide that darkness is all there is, we need someone to help us find the light. I know someone right now that needs light in a very bad way. I hope you find it and I hope you can embrace it when you do. Love is never about convenience, fairness and sometimes it's a unilateral thing. I am fortunate to have loved and to be loved now by an amazing woman. I am fortunate that she understands me and loves me as deeply as she does. She is my best friend, my soul mate, my wife and she means everything to me.

Still, there is one that I wish I could reach out too in order to touch her and heal her. My heart hurts for her, knowing all that she is going through. Knowing her medical situation. Knowing her personal heartbreak. It hurts because I still care for her. It hurts for her because of the things she believes are true that I know are not true. It hurts because while relationships end, I do not believe that true love really ever does. It takes its appropriate place in your heart when the one you love leaves you, but it's still there.

Yet, the love I have now for my wife is far beyond that which I ever had for the one I am concerned for. When I hurt, it is my wife's arms that I crave. When I'm happy, it's her smile I want to see when I tell her good news or a funny joke. When I have success, it's my beloved Carrie who I want to share all of that with. I can tell Carrie anything - I feel no judgement, I feel no attempt to change me - I feel total acceptance for the person I am. I feel a love from her that is beyond question and unconditional. I've never had that before. Unconditional love is an amazing thing. Open communication is an amazing thing.

Yet, I still care for this other and always will. It is who I am and my beloved Carrie understands this feeling inside of me. I will stand and say "all is forgiven" today, a year from now or on my death bed. All is forgiven.

Luke only touched his fathers heart at the last moment as Luke's life was near an end - and sadly what became the end of his fathers life. In anger his father waited too long to accept reality and to reject the anger and darkness that filled his heart. I fear that this one might never come to understand the truth and accept it. I fear she will choose to remain in darkness for the rest of her days.

And that is the saddest part of all....

Let go of your anger and your hate and look for the truth and the light. You will be shocked what you find. It takes a bit of work to find the truth sometimes, but it's damned worth the effort.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Earthquakes, tsunamis and illusions...

Many of us like illusions. We like to be fooled by the likes of Copperfield, Burton or Pen and Teller. They are exciting and they have a way of changing our perception of what we see. We watch the magic and all of a sudden that which we know can not be true, all of a sudden is true. In our minds, we know it's a tick, and illusion, but we suspend reality to enjoy the sensation and the experience. We clap and hail the experience of being fooled.

Experiences of late have convinced me that illusions come in many forms, and not just through the medium of magic. Illusion is created by our own human short comings, through the trickery of those less trustworthy, by taking advantage of a weakness in our vision, in our perception and exploiting it. Our emotions and preconceptions can also create illusions that are hard for us to understand. It seems that just like Magic, we clap at the illusions life presents us, and hail them all to often as amazing and some mystic source of truth. All this in spite of the fact that to those not invested in the illusion, it's clear that it is just that, a lie.

In real life, such things plague us. The problem is that we don't have the benefit of knowing that there is a magician working a trick to our amusement. Instead, we are fooled by the illusion, often unexpected, and we actually begin to believe that which we know can not possibly be the truth. We embrace the illusion as a truth in our life, when in fact it's just a construction in our mind.

It's sad what some will believe, when properly pressured. When we trust someone, it's hard to accept that what we are being told is not true. When we love somebody, even the most unlikely story we will tend to believe. This makes truth that much harder to ferret out in the long run. Truth is a two sided sword.

It's difficult to divorce emotion from truth. Often, emotion leads us to the story we want to hear or need to hear, rather than the story that we really should be hearing. Pressure from others will reinforce the illusion that we accept, such that it's nearly impossible to turn our back on that illusion in spite of all evidence to the contrary.

The illusion also is improved in the face of emotion. We need to put emotion in it's place so that we can properly understand the truth. Yet both are very strong creatures.

In the history of humans, illusion has robbed many a person of happiness and joy that they might have otherwise have. Illusion has indited and jailed the innocent in many cases. Illusion had destroyed lives, broken hearts and taken a future that could be and disassembled it in the interest of a lie.

And yet... in spite of the destruction born on the heels of these illusions of life, there can be such positives at the end of the day. It may be that after the smoke fades from the devastation heaped upon us, that we may well give thanks to those illusions for the beauty that remained after it's all over with. For in the tsunami, opportunity is created for something new and greater. While it takes us time to recover from the devastation that illusions impact on our life, perhaps it was for the better, and perhaps the end result of the one who is impacted by the illusion is better in the end.

Some will never recognize love when they see it. Some will always find an excuse to push away love, to allow an illusion to confirm to us what we already believe, that we don't deserve love. Some are always waiting for the shoe to fall, and when it does, they don't question it because they always knew the shoe was going to fall. The illusion simply confirmed what they already knew. When you believe in your heart that you don't deserve to be happy, or that life will always take away from you what  you want, you will find that these things become self-fulfilling prophecies. If you expect failure, it's even easier to be fooled by illusion.

So it is, that the illusion is complete. The trick has been performed and that is the source of the Tsunami... and the earthquakes... in our lives. We blame others, when the blame is our own. We lean on the illusion, even if we know, deep in our heart, that is all it is. Until we can face those illusions in our life, and face ourselves and the truth, what we truly want will be just a dream. At the end of the day, we have to face the truth, and the impacts of believing the illusions, before we can truly move on and be who we want to be. Otherwise we remain mired in the destruction of lies, impaled upon us by the great illusions that surround us.

Love and truth conquers these illusions. Everything else is simply an excuse to continue to believe in that which is not real. That which is illusion. Which do you want? Truth or illusion?

Saturday, January 04, 2014

Talking and Silence...

To you....

I read something you said.
I don't know if it was meant for me.
but it felt like it might be.
and it made me hurt so.
Talking is always preferable to silence.
You know how to find me.
I truly wish that you would call, or write.
no mention of it from my lips, ever.

I see and understand your pain,
I wish, so much, that I could help you with your pain.
My pain is almost more than I can endure.
Yet one who is amazing loves, comforts and accepts how I am.

So much to say.
I hope you come this way.
and see and I pray,
to hear your voice once again.

Friday, January 03, 2014



Silence is perhaps the worst pain.
The gulf of truth and fiction persist.
The pain of the heart is never quelled.
in silence.

In silence there is no truth,
only a terrible imagination of fiction.
The reality of the divide so real.
in silence.

In silence the heart breaks,
crumbles to the ground,
gasping for breath.
in silence.

In silence, pain and tears appear,
and there is never peace,
nor is there rest.
in silence.

Free me of this silence,
for it is worse than death.
talk to me freely,
stop the silence.

I am tired,
the silence rocks my soul.
It screams for the voice,
Silence hurts.

God how silence hurts.

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