Friday, March 07, 2014

On being mistaken...

This exchange in Star Wars VI appeared in my mind today...

The Emperor:  “I’m looking forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master.”
Luke:   ”You’re gravely mistaken. You won’t convert me as you did my father.”
The Emperor:  “Oh no, my young Jedi. You will find that it is you who are mistaken, about a great many things.”

It's funny how we can be just so sure of something to the point that it blinds us to the truth, as in the case of the Emperor here. He was just sure, because of his great and fabulous knowledge of the dark side of the force,  that he would be able to turn Luke. He figured his right hand Man, Vader, even though he was Luke's father, would never betray him - even in the light of the fact that we know that the Emperor saw that Luke and Vader would someday overcome him together he was cocky, confident and over sure about himself.

What the emperor lacked was humility and a willingness to admit that he just might be wrong. He was so sure of himself that he lacked to ability to accept that, just maybe, he might have made a mistake. He didn't understand Vader's feelings for his son, for they were so clouded by the dark side that they were hidden from the Emperor.

Just maybe we sometimes have the same problem. Maybe we misplace our trust in people that we think are trustworthy (as the Emperor did in Vader) and maybe, just maybe, the people who we think are our enemy are really our friends (as Luke and Vader became). Sometimes we have to be willing to step outside our comfort zone (as Vader did) to see what the truth really is. Sometimes we have to love so strongly (as Luke did) to maintain the relationship until the other finally makes that step and learns the truth. While Luke might well have died in his attempt to save his father, in the end he was successful because he was just and right and he followed the light.

Sometimes, when we decide that darkness is all there is, we need someone to help us find the light. I know someone right now that needs light in a very bad way. I hope you find it and I hope you can embrace it when you do. Love is never about convenience, fairness and sometimes it's a unilateral thing. I am fortunate to have loved and to be loved now by an amazing woman. I am fortunate that she understands me and loves me as deeply as she does. She is my best friend, my soul mate, my wife and she means everything to me.

Still, there is one that I wish I could reach out too in order to touch her and heal her. My heart hurts for her, knowing all that she is going through. Knowing her medical situation. Knowing her personal heartbreak. It hurts because I still care for her. It hurts for her because of the things she believes are true that I know are not true. It hurts because while relationships end, I do not believe that true love really ever does. It takes its appropriate place in your heart when the one you love leaves you, but it's still there.

Yet, the love I have now for my wife is far beyond that which I ever had for the one I am concerned for. When I hurt, it is my wife's arms that I crave. When I'm happy, it's her smile I want to see when I tell her good news or a funny joke. When I have success, it's my beloved Carrie who I want to share all of that with. I can tell Carrie anything - I feel no judgement, I feel no attempt to change me - I feel total acceptance for the person I am. I feel a love from her that is beyond question and unconditional. I've never had that before. Unconditional love is an amazing thing. Open communication is an amazing thing.

Yet, I still care for this other and always will. It is who I am and my beloved Carrie understands this feeling inside of me. I will stand and say "all is forgiven" today, a year from now or on my death bed. All is forgiven.

Luke only touched his fathers heart at the last moment as Luke's life was near an end - and sadly what became the end of his fathers life. In anger his father waited too long to accept reality and to reject the anger and darkness that filled his heart. I fear that this one might never come to understand the truth and accept it. I fear she will choose to remain in darkness for the rest of her days.

And that is the saddest part of all....

Let go of your anger and your hate and look for the truth and the light. You will be shocked what you find. It takes a bit of work to find the truth sometimes, but it's damned worth the effort.

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